最近离婚了吗?专家分享最佳12种继续前进的方法

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让我们说实话:我们对常规传递的疑惑令人疑问,说明所有婚姻的一半结束divorce但是,不幸的是,这是真的。根据美国心理协会,“美国离婚约40%至50%的已婚夫妇,随后婚姻的离婚率甚至更高。”然而,在你觉得过于惊人的数字之前,请记住离婚并不意味着你永远不会再次找到爱情or that you are somehow worth less as a divorcée than you are as half of a married couple. It is totally possible to emotionally move on after getting divorced, we promise.

虽然是process of legally calling it quitswith your spouse will likely affect you in a number of ways, licensed psychotherapistTina Gilbertsonhas found that it tends to hit your self-esteem the hardest. Step one in moving on post-divorce is to heal your heart, and we have a few expert-approved ways to get started.

认识专家

Tina Gilbertson是一个持牌心理治疗师和作者建设性的wallowing:如何通过让自己拥有它们来击败不良情感

在离婚后,您需要了解的一切。

01 of 12

Ask for Help

一群时尚妇女

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“加入离婚支持小组或找到一个富有同情心的治疗师,谈谈你的婚姻发生了什么,”吉尔伯顿博士建议。即使疗法不是你的东西,也打电话给一个了解你所经历的朋友,试图打破你的想法和感受。听到自己解释你的情绪可以帮助让你感觉更容易。

02 of 12

建设性地瓦劳

According to Dr. Gilbertson, it's okay to mourn the positive aspects of your marriage—in fact, it's healthy to acknowledge them. Trust us, it may feel better in the moment to bury your feelings and act as though everything is fine, but denial generally isn't the best road to take when trying to get to a place of good emotional health. Moving on is definitely a process that comes with a fewemotional stages。决定忽略它们可能会减慢恢复时间。

If something you see or hear reminds you of your ex, it may make you really sad, and that is okay. Feel your feelings rather than pretend they aren't there. Sometimes a good cry is all you need.

03 of 12

Focus on the Positive

Keep in mind that you paralyze yourself by focusing on the things you don't have and can't do. When you feel yourself nearing a negative place, take a step back and remind yourself about all of the good things you have in your life. You can even make a list and look at it whenever you're feeling less than.

04 of 12

原谅你自己

Gilbertson博士说,“看看你的核心问题所需的勇气将说服你是一个勇敢,不断发展的人,应该受到情感,尊重和尊重。”这很容易看离婚作为失败,但只是因为婚姻没有锻炼并不意味着你是一个责任的人。尽量缩小并看看整个婚姻,你会注意到一些大小的东西,这将证明无论你做了什么还是没有那样的事情就不会锻炼。

05 of 12

Take Care of Number One

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如果你见过一个浪漫喜剧,你可能会认为最简单的进展方式是找一个新的人在某些情况下,作品。然而,准予g onto a different partnertoofast may set you back more than you realize. We're believers in the saying, "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else."

There's no rush to jump into a new relationship, so give yourself some time to heal before trying to meet someone new.

06 of 12

建立你的小胜利

This may sound a little silly, but shoot for one little thing each day that can prove you're making progress in a particular area of your life. For example,阅读一本书的一章你一直是读过多年但是尚未进入或者挑选一个美味的食谱每天都喜欢你爱的东西。

完成你所开放的东西,感觉非常好,所以请试一试。

07 of 12

不要把孩子们拖进戏剧

For better or for worse, divorce totally changes your kids' lives without their consent, so for their sake, try to keep things as civil as you possibly can with your ex. Even if your ex cheated on you, bad-mouthing him to your children will不是做任何好处。事实上,它可能只会损害他们与你的关系,而不是他。

If they're old enough, try解释正在发生的事情rather than keep them in total darkness.

08 of 12

Prepare for Friends to Take Sides

Kids aren't the only party affected by divorce. Chances are, you and your ex shared friends, and some of these friends may take sides. It will definitely hurt watching people your thought were your friends side with the person who may have wronged you, but it happens all the time.

Just remember that your actual friends are the ones who are there for you no matter what. The people who stick around are the ones who will support you and stay by your side.

09 of 12

让你的空闲时间计数

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你的前任是否持有你的梦想和愿望来阻止你?如果是这样,现在还有时间查看你的物品铲斗列表。Whether you've always wanted to get your real estate license, start a YouTube channel, ortake that exotic trip, nothing is stopping you from living the life you've always wanted now.

10 of 12

Look for the Silver Linings

If you always felt a little guilty going out to dinner with your friends while your husband had to work, you officially don't have to worry about that anymore. There are probably a few other things you couldn't or wouldn't want to do that are now fully available to you.

11 of 12

打破汗水

信不信由你,锻炼可以为被封锁的情感渠道做出奇迹。Gilbertson博士解释说:“运动触发了良好的感情。所以设置和实现目标。随着你所经历的一切,你应该感觉良好。健身方案或一个半马拉松这样的新进球会提高你的心情增加自己的自尊心。“另外,我们都听说过内啡肽,对吗?

Try going for a run a few times a week. Each time you start, set a goal for how far you want to go, and each run, try to push at least a few tenths of a mile further. Being able to show yourself how strong you can be and accomplish a goal you set will feel amazing.

12 of 12

不要忽视你的关系

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当你感觉低空和空虚时,穿上装备和社会可能听起来像你想做的最后一件事,但试图强迫自己留在你所爱的人。保持忙碌的帮助比你想象的更多。在其他人身边有助于你摆脱自己的头部,为你提供一点点脱离你可能会迫使自己的情感虐待。

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